Touched by the hand of GOD

Hi,

You don't know me but I wanted to comment on your post about how your friend envisioned heaven. I think it's probably pretty accurate.

I wanted to share an experience I had when I was sixteen & was doubting my faith in God.

I was spending the night at a co-worker's house. Her parents always made her go to youth group on Saturdays. As I was a guest in her home, I went as well. I had been uprooted by my family a couple of months prior to this & had many bad experiences. Being from a small town in the Mid-west I was naive to say the least.

I mentioned that my faith was waning. It was waning because in two short months the following things had happened to me.

I narrowly missed being abducted on THREE separate occasions by THREE different individuals/groups of people.

I had to fight my way out of being date raped.

I had been informed that I would not be graduating with my class because so many of my required classes from Illinois did not transfer to Arizona. The only way to grad with my class was to go to night school & summer school. The money to do this was nowhere to be found...even from any relatives back in the Midwest.

I was working 35+ hours per week to help pay for rent & put food on our table.

My mother was rapidly spiraling into a deep depression was threatening to end it all daily. I had no idea WHAT to do about it. (Thankfully, she never did try to end it all)

My sister was also going into a depressed state, my brother was turning to drugs & my dad was working double shifts trying to pay the bills. Keep in mind we had left Illinois with what would fit in our van & an Cordoba...from a 15 room Victorian home.

Back to the youth group meeting.

Everyone was instructed to write on a piece of paper what they wanted to discuss & because the room the youth group usually met in was being painted, they met in the sanctuary instead. I had never been to a church in AZ so I was complete stranger to all except for my co-worker.

I was paired up with a teen aged boy, bless his heart. He let me talk & talk & cry & cry about everything that had been weighing on me so heavily. When time was up, he just held me in his arms & let me sob in silence.

Shortly thereafter, everyone knelt in prayer at the front of the sanctuary. There was this large cross with Christ nailed to it, illuminated by the sun streaming through a skylight. I was always told to keep my eyes closed with my head bowed in prayer, but something told me to look up.

When I did, I saw the hand of God come down & touch my heart. I cried silent tears like I've never cried before or since. Every teen there at youth group that day knew what I had seen.

I had a deep sense of peace & telling people about it still moves me to tears. If that is any indication of heaven is like, that is where I'd like to think I'll go when my time comes.

When I read your description of heaven, it brought me back to my experience that day 20 1/2 years ago. When I share the experience with people, many scoff or say I'm making it up.

Those who either know me or believe in God can see & hear it to be true. I don't know why I was chosen to have that experience.

I share it with people for many different reasons. It's not often that I share it, but I thought you could appreciate the experience & that maybe it would bring you some comfort while you are grieving the loss of your very dear friend Laurie.

My thoughts & prayers are with you.

Sincerely, Mary

The above is a copy of an e-mail I sent to a blogger tonight. I had been thinking about how blessed I am in light of all of the victims of Katrina. I am blessed & grateful for the following things &/or people in my life.

1. My loving devoted husband & 2 beautiful children.
2. My family, all of it's members no matter how much trouble they cause me at times. At least I HAVE family members to bug the heck out of me. They also have been a great support system when I've needed them most.
3. My pets. It may seem silly to some but they have often calmed me down enough to deal with things & made me feel loved when I felt unworthy of it.
4. My experiences & decisions both good & bad for they have made me the person I am today.
5. A strong sense of self & that my DH helped me find my way back to myself. Now I am working on what I don't like about myself, not just physically either. I believe the journey will help be become a better wife, mother, friend & human being.
6. My best friend that is like another sister to me. She has held my hand through break-ups, divorce, abuse, abortion & has never made me feel judged or "less than". She was there when I got married, with new jobs, new homes & new loves. I know not if my heart would have healed without her in my life. To me she is an earthbound angel....even if she thinks otherwise. She is the first person I call with news either good or bad. I truly love her like I love my sister. I been honored to call her my friend since 1993 when I met her at work.

There are more but I don't want to make this entry so long that nobody wants to read it.

My problems seem so small in comparison to what others are dealing with tonight.

• Katrina's victims
• My neighbor going off to Iraq soon, leaving his wife & two young children behind
• a fellow PG member that has likely lost everything
• my Uncle that found out this past Friday that he has Pancreatic Cancer
• all of the homeless, the poor, the ill & the grieving in the world
• those that feel trapped in bad relationships or dead-end jobs, feeling "forced" to hide their lifestyle choices or even feeling trapped by indecision about something in their life

Like I said, my problems are small in comparison. Things like ...

• Ow , I still have pain in my side from my c-section 3 months ago
• Sheesh, I'm paying $2.75 a gallon for gas at the pump
• how am I going to get everything done that I need to before we move into our new & larger home

Yes the pain in my side concerns me, but soon enough we will be insured once again & then I can have it looked at.

Yes we are paying $2.75 a gallon for gas, but we just won't make unnecessary trips to the store & such. It's something that we needed to change anyway.

I will find a way to get everything dome before moving day. At least I have a home to move to & I have stuff to put inside of it. It is something that sadly has been taken from thousands of people in the United States in the past 48 hours.

Like I said, my problems are small. I'm just glad that I can put it all into proper perspective.

Okay, I haven't jumped off the FLYlady deep end like it may appear from my activities. The inspector is coming tomorrow morning to look at our house for the interested buyer. Although my feet are screaming at me & I am sweating like a dog on a hot Midwestern July day...I will have a nice clean house. I am nowhere NEAR done cleaning & I don't think I'll get it all done by tomorrow morning. I did get the worst rooms looking decent, with the exception of the laundry room. I need to scrub the floor because the washing machine over flowed when I put a comforter in to wash a few weeks ago. I am afraid that if I don't stop cleaning soon, I won't be able to walk tomorrow because my feet will be so sore. This is due to my excessive weight & my heel spur. I know...No stinkin thinkin allowed. I did take 15 minute breaks each hour & a couple of those I spent with Elizabeth. I do need to get the laundry put away tonight & I'll clean the shower while I'm in it tonight. I will probably be sore tomorrow, but I'll be up early....cleaning again before the inspector comes in the morning.

http://www.mypyramid.gov./

We got approved for the loan

We got approved for the loan on the land & manufactured home. We NEED the space but I'm not looking forward to moving....again. Packing, flinging & donating won't be much fun with two little ones. If I would have been following FLYlady the whole time then I'd have much less to fling & donate. So far I have found a new home for the cradle that needs repair (that DH will never get around to fixing) as well as the metal lawn furniture from the 1970's that my MIL gave to us when we moved. They will be out of our house by the end of the week. We have already deceided that whatever we can't find new homes for we will donate. I hope Freecycle works as well as people say it does!

As for routines, I completed my morning & afternoon routines today. My evening routine was completed with the exception of one thing & my before bed routine will be completed as soon as I finish this entry. For me unwinding means journaling, either on the computer or paper, reading a book or watching a show on TV. The water is on the computer desk nearly gone.

As far as weight loss goes...DH sabotaged me this week. He brought home Lemon cookies, Little Ceasears Pizza, Ice cream, potato chips & soda pop. I love him but sometimes I think he WANTS to keep me fat. He met me fat. He loves me fat & HE is fat. He has told me he is afraid that if I lose weight I will leave him for somebody else. What do I have to do to reassure him this isn't the case. I have a wonderful (most of the time) DH that loves me, loves our children, is great father & works his rear off to allow me to be a SAHM! His ex fiance left him on Christmas Eve years ago after she lost something like 50 pounds. I guess all I can do is lose the weight & NOT leave him. Silly man. I won't be sabotaged this week though. I ate ALL of the lemon cookies so there are no more in the house. I ate ONE piece of pizza instead of 4 or 5 like usual. My late night snack was a small banana instead of chips, cookies or ice cream. I have a LONG way to go, but I'm taking things one step at a time. I REFUSE to beat myself up about giving in to temptation. I just have to pick myself up & climb back on the road to regaining my health. I was BAD today....eating all of those cookies & drinking 32 oz of soda. A couple of weeks ago I was drinking 96 oz of soda....so there is improvement with that already.

I'm yawning finally & I still need to make the bottle for "C" & stick it in the fridge. After all she is quite the impatient little princess.

Pictures from Sesame Street presents the The Body

These are pictures from the Arizona Science Center. The featured exhibit is Sesame Street Presents The Body. We took the girls this past weekend & "E" had a blast. Not to mention that she LOVES ELMO!
She wanter her picture taken with the picture of Sesame Street. That is what she called it. Then she proceeded to tell me who was in the picture...Elmo, Grover, Zoey, Telly,Bert & Ernie.
This is basically what "C" did throughout the entire exhibit...that is when she wasn't eating. We didn't have to pay for her because she is still so young...almost 3 months old already!
"E" was having fun in Grover's obstacle course. Who knew she knew what to do with a balance beam? It was a surprise to me!
"Mom! Look what I made! An umbella!" (that is how she says it)

We were there for about 3 or 4 hours & "E" was worn out by the time we were done.

http://www.azscience.org/

I was watching a rerun of Oprah's show with Lisa Marie Presley & let me just say WOW! I wasn't than impressed by the version of "Dirty Laundry" she performed on the show. I Googled her & up came her website. I clicked on "Dirty Laundry" there & listened. I LOVED it! I went ahead & listened to the other songs on the site & I now want BOTH of her CD's. This is saying alot for me because being a SAHM my funds are very limited. I liked "Lights Out" the first time I heard it but it didn't grab my attention enough for me to check into it. She kind of reminds ME of Melissa Etheridge. Others may not agree, but my opinoin is my own & others can agree or disagree. I don't care...just stating my opinoin. Anyway, click on the link below & give it a listen. Her Daddy would probably be pretty proud of his Princess.


http://www.lisapresley.com/music_home.html

Pictures from my sister's visit

This is my sweet little niece "R" She is such a little honey & had such a fun time at the park during her visit. This was the first time I had ever seen her since she was born. She looks just like my sister....with the exception of the blonde hair. Her & my "E" played VERY well together.




This is my sister "C" & her daughter "R" tuckered out after a LONG day of visiting various local family members. This was taken in my "C's" bedroom formally belonging to my "E's" bedroom.







This is my oldest nephew "S". He is borderline Autistic but has improved greatly since entering school. He handled the changes in his routine & environment better than I'd expected.









This is my nephew "I" & my very own "E" in front of my house. We were waiting for my sister & the other 2 kids to come outside so we could walk to a nearby park.

We had a nice visit. My sister & I got to talk almost nightly after the kids went to bed. We polished off a bottle of Strawberry flavored white zin a couple of nights....it's a luxury we don't normally get to afford ourselves. The last night here, she bathed all four kids while I finished, sorted & folded all of her laundry. The while she got her kids down for the night & packed the carry-on's I crammed the rest of her stuff into one suitcase. I rolled, stuffed, jammed & crammed her suitcase full of toys, books, shoes & clothes. Since she had to leave by 4:30 am to catch her flight to St. Louis, we packed everything into her rental with the exception of HER carry-on backpack. I woke up to see her off, help her with the kids & kiss them all good-bye. I REALLY miss her & wish she didn't live 2/3 of the way across the country. She has to go where the opportunities in her field that ARMY has available. That happens to be the East Coast. I hope I see her sooner than 4 years from now!

Journal entry from fit day & routines

Breakfast: 2 eggs scrambled (with water not milk), 1/4 C white onions, 1/4 C carrots, 1 slice of American Cheese, 2 thin deli slices of ham in water (looked at the package & the 1.4 slice of medium ham was the closet I could come calories & fat wise using the pre-set foods) & 16 ounces of 1% milk. Breakfast was really good....I need to do this more often!

~~~ !!!Light Bulb moment!!! For me to lose all of the weight I set for my goal, by my goal date...I only have to lose an average of 5 pounds PER MONTH! HELLO! That's just over 1 pound per week! I can really do this! That is an exciting & motivating thought. ~~~

I walked 15 minutes again today. That is 2 days down & 5 to go for that goal. I was craving chocolate SOOOO bad. Normally I would drive to the store & buy some, but instead I looked around the house & found the LF Fudge Brownie mix....so I made those instead. I only had one soda today & tonight I'm drinking Crystal Light instead of soda pop.

While I was out walking I stopped & talked to some neighbors....for TWO hours! WOW! TWO WHOLE HOURS WITHOUT ANY KIDS!!! Bonus....I got some much needed adult conversation. We talked about the illegal immigration issues in the news, the inflated real estate market, the enormous influx of people moving here from California & issues that are affecting our neighborhood. It was MUCH needed by me & I really enjoyed it. Because I didn't ave my cell phone with me my DH wasn't able to interrupt me & "beckon" me home to take care of two children that HE is perfectly capable of caring for himself. I love him & our kids but hey...I need a little bit of "mom time" once in awhile. I deserve it & I rarely get any of it. Between housework, family obligations, changing diapers, making bottles, wiping noses or bottoms, caring for the pets & our yard...time is very limited.

As for routines, these are mine....

Morning routine:

• Get up & dressed to the shoes
• make the bed
• brush teeth & hair

Afternoon routine:

• identify hot spots & put them out
• 15 minutes of zone work
• Elizabeth time

Evening routine:

• lay out clothes for next day
• walk (bless my heart) for minimum of 15 minutes
• journal my food, activities etc that I may not have done through out the day

Before Bed routine:

• shower
• shine sink
• empty trash cans
• unwind with tea or water

It's the beginning of a plan. I had to start somewhere!

Din over border money grows

By Mark Flatten, Tribune
East Valley Tribune

USA - Top state lawmakers are asking their federal counterparts to keep the heat on the U.S. Department of Homeland Security to account for money that an agency whistle-blower says should have been spent to help secure the Arizona border.Republican leaders from the House and Senate said it is "unfathomable" that money meant to help bring technology to the Arizona border could have been misspent on bureaucratic initiatives in Washington, D.C.

That charge was leveled by Charles Cape, southwestern zone manager for Homeland Security, in a story published July 31 by the Tribune.
"It is disturbing enough that Arizona is burdened by the lion's share of the federal government's inability to gain operational control over our border," the lawmakers say in an Aug. 9 letter to Republican members of the state's congressional delegation. "The fact that tens of millions of dollars intended to tackle this problem have now possibly vanished is unfathomable."

The letter was signed by GOP leaders, including House Speaker Jim Weiers of Phoenix, and Senate President Ken Bennett of Prescott.
Cape told the Tribune he was sent to Arizona to find ways to use wireless technology to help guard the border against terrorists, smugglers and illegal immigrants. But when he tried to get money for the system, he found it had been misspent on nrelated programs by top agency administrators, despite specific instructions from Congress to use the funds for wireless technology, he said.

After the Tribune story was published, Reps. J.D. Hayworth and John Shadegg, both R-Ariz., took Cape's complaints to the House Committee on Homeland Security, which opened an investigation.
Before speaking with the Tribune, Cape filed separate complaints with Homeland Security's inspector general and the independent federal Office of Special Counsel.

Those investigations languished until Hayworth and Shadegg made inquiries.In their letter to Arizona's congressmen, the state lawmakers expressed sympathy for Cape's frustration in trying to report his assertions that the border money was misspent.
"It is particularly noteworthy that a high-ranking official with DHS would feel so discouraged about the status of the funds that he was compelled to bring this matter to the media after apparently exhausting every other avenue within his own department," the letter says.
House Majority Leader Steve Tully, R-Phoenix, whose district includes Paradise Valley, said he began circulating a letter asking Congress to investigate Cape's charges shortly after the Tribune story was published. But since members of the state's delegation acted quickly to pursue the charges, the letter was rewritten to express the lawmakers' concerns, Tully said.

Homeland Security has said the money was not misspent. The equipment Cape requested has not reached the border because it must go through normal testing and procurement channels, said agency spokesman Larry Orluskie in a previous interview.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9000226/

__________________________________________________

Ernesto Portillo Jr.: Polls guide the pols on illegal entry



Opinion by Ernesto Portillo Jr.
ARIZONA DAILY STAR

So Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano is playing politics when she declared a state of emergency and released $1.5 million to Pima and three neighboring countries to pay for costs due to undiluted illegal immigration.
Politics? Yes, said some shocked and awed Arizona Republicans.
I'm stunned to know politics is being played in the parlor of illegal immigration, to paraphrase actor Claude Rains playing police inspector Louie Renault in the movie "Casablanca."
Just like Rains' character knew there was gambling in the club's back room, we know politics is in play over illegal immigration. We just act shocked.
From President Bush to local elected officials, Democrats and Republicans are jostling for the best position to appeal to voters.
Politicians read the polls. Voters want politicians to act and sound tough on illegal immigration, even if the get-tough measures will not resolve illegal immigration fueled by economic and political forces that can outmuscle stricter controls.
Napolitano is reading the polls, as is New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson. The two Dem-ocrats calculated political gains and losses when they declared an emergency zone in eight counties abutting Mexico.
Napolitano wants to get re-elected next year. She's looking to deflect Republican criticism of "being soft" on illegal immigration.
Before declaring Pima, Santa Cruz, Cochise and Yuma counties disaster zones, she had taken several public steps to ward off Republican chiding.
In February she asked the federal government to pay the state $118 million that Arizona spent to incarcerate undocumented immigrants.
Republican opponents still criticized her. But in other parts of the country, Republican officeholders have made the same headline-grabbing gestures.
Also this year, Napolitano called for a meeting of state and local enforcement officials - in Flagstaff, away from the border and media attention - to discuss strategies to deal with criminal activity related to illegal immigration.
Republicans play politics, too.
Last month the Los Angeles Times published a story that Bush and his advisers will craft an immigration-reform plan that will attract Latino voters in the 2006 congressional elections.
Bush and some top Republicans believe an angry debate over illegal immigration will split the party and alienate the growing Latino electorate, said the July 24 story.
Other Republicans want to follow a different political script.
When Don Goldwater, a political unknown, announced his wish to be Napolitano's Republican challenger, he made sure he would make news. He blamed virtually all our problems on undocumented immigrants.
Likewise, Randy Graf is taking his second shot to unseat Jim Kolbe in the Republican-safe 8th Congressional District on a promise he can put the squeeze on illegal entrants.
Build a fence? Go ahead, since it plays well even if hungry and jobless people will find a way over or under it.
Put more guns and guards on the border? That's a vote-getter even if increased border enforcement in the past 10 years has not led to lower illegal immigration.
People want solutions to reduce illegal immigration but really don't want to pay the price.
An effective solution is a guest-worker program for undocumented immigrants and a program to legalize the millions of undocumented immigrants here.
But that would require politicians to accept a humane comprehensive overhaul of immigration laws. That hasn't happened because too many politicians are busy playing politics.

http://www.dailystar.com/dailystar/sports/89214.php

Taking control of my life & FLYing

I am tired of looking & feeling like a fat & ugly trainwreck. Today I am taking the first steps to change my lifestyle with the goal of regaining my energy & my health. I revisited fitday.com It is a site that helps you track your food intake, calories, activites & has a journal.

Here is the link to my fitday.

http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=mrymerry

If I make it public then I have to hold myself accountable. I generally walk in the evenings after it cools off. I am currently getting over a nasty cold that hit my husband, both of our girls & myself within 12 hours. The girls are nearly over their colds but my DH & I are having a harder time with the colds we have. I think it's because the kids can just rest, we adults don't have that option. That & both DH & I are obese.

I also have rejoined FLYlady...for the third time. I know she says baby steps & it takes 28 days to form a new habit. I don't have time to screw around with my house OR my health anymore. You would think that as a SAHM I'd have it together...but admittedly I don't. I get overwhelmed & then I don't where to start. FLY Lady says that you are never behind, just jump in where you are! That is what I'm doing. I will do my best not to beat myself up over being a failure at housework & begin to "FLY" (finally love myself). I was never taught how to do housework becuase I never really saw my mom do it. Things were just always clean. Yes, we had to do things occasionally like pull weeds, rake leaves, clean the bathroom or vacuum & dust. We even had to do the dishes...but never on a schedule of any kind. I will do my best not to make those same mistakes with my girls. A few things have stayed with me...

• Decluttering magazines
• Decluttering clothes
• Tackeling Mount Washmore
• Blessing the world with my dust
• Having a control journal complete with overly ambitious routines, address book & emergency information

Improvements have been made that way. Others are just on the horizion. Everytime I restart FLY Lady, a few more of her lessons stay with me. She is a bit corny I admit. For ladies like myself that are SHEs, she is a blessing. She is the reason I named this site Purple Puddles. In the next few days I will revamp my overly ambitious routines & get back to the basics. I may even post them here! That way I can keep track of how they change & grow while I shrink & regain my health!

Are there any other FLY Babies out there reading my blog? If so, feel free to leave your comments, share your struggles with sticking to your routines or just say "Hi".

I look forward to reading your comments.

Mary

Here is another useful link to the new food pyramid

http://www.mypyramid.gov./

Kids put in danger in car trunks
Recent incidents show case in Va. is not unique
By Wendy KochUSA TODAY


The arrest of a Virginia woman for traveling with children in her car trunk has called attention to a recent series of incidents in which mothers have stashed their kids in trunks, including one instance when a boy died.
One woman was punishing her children, another lacked a babysitter, another said her kids wanted to ride in the trunk, and two said the car was too crowded.
“It's silly and dangerous on so many levels,” says Alan Korn of Safe Kids Worldwide, a non-profit group.
Since 1980, 49 children 14 and younger have died in trunks, says Janette Fennell, president of Kids And Cars, a non-profit group. The average age of those who died accidentally is 4.
Fennell, who was locked in a trunk during a kidnapping while her 9-month-old baby was in the back seat, says the incidence is understated because there is no federal database. A bill pending in the Senate would require tracking of non-crash car fatalities.
Most times, Korn says, kids are locked in trunks accidentally when they climb in, the lid closes and they can't get out.
Last month, the bodies of three boys were found in a car trunk in Camden, N.J., after a two-day search. The Camden Police Department says they got trapped while playing.
Children run a particular risk if trapped in a car. Their body temperature can increase much faster than that of adults. In minutes, they can suffer life-threatening heatstroke.
A boy, 8, died of heat exposure in May in Asheville, N.C., after his mother put him in the trunk of her Ford Escort. Police say Michelle Joyce Gibson, 36, left him in the parking lot at her job because she had no babysitter.
Police found her cradling the dead child in the back seat of the car. She is in jail awaiting trial on charges of second-degree murder and two counts of child abuse.
Other cases since May:
•Laverne Dunlap, 35, of Gardena, Calif., was charged in June with three counts of child endangerment after allegedly driving 70 miles with a boy, 15, and a girl, 10, in the trunk. Seven more people were riding in her Toyota Corolla.
•Tamantha Parker, 33, of Quantico, Va., was charged this month with child abuse after police said she locked her two children, who police said were about 5, in a trunk as punishment for misbehaving in Wal-Mart. Nine people were packed into her car, including at least two others who should have been in child car seats, police said.
•Lanora Lucas, 37, of Frederick, Md., was charged last month with reckless endangerment after a police officer saw her put her 9-year-old son, 3-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old friend into her Volvo's trunk. She told the officer the kids wanted to ride there.
•Cheryl Ann Schoonmaker, 38, of Stafford, Va., was arrested Friday on child-abuse charges after two daughters, 8 and 10, told their father they had to take turns riding in the trunk of a four-door Nissan Sentra during an eight-hour trip from Alabama to Virginia. The girls said there was no room for both of them inside the car, which was also carrying a 12-year-old sister, a 12-year-old family friend, an infant sister and a dog. They said their mother drove with half of the back seat folded forward so there was an opening into the trunk, and another child rode atop the collapsed seat.
The father, Curtis Schoonmaker, filed a report against his ex-wife. She will be arraigned next week. Her attorney, Eric Strom, says she will deny the charges.
After 11 children died in car trunks in the summer of 1998, a federal safety panel recommended internal trunk release mechanisms. Congress has required them in passenger cars made since 2002. Many manufacturers offer inexpensive kits for older models.
Fennell's group urges parents to keep vehicles locked at all times, teach kids not to play in or near cars and check trunks immediately if kids are missing.

www.usatoday.com/printededition/news/20050714/a_trunk14.art.htm

Family reunion August 2005

BR; Brother, Mother, Father, Brother

FR; Sister, Me

Family Reunion August 2005

BR; DH, Daughter (in DH arms), SIL, Brother, Brother

MR; Nephew, Sister, Nephew, Me

FR; Neice, Nephew, Daughter

My daughter

My children, nephews & my neice.

Elizabeth may no longer be peeing on the Princesses but now has taken to POOPING on them instead!

Elizabeth may no longer be peeing on the Princesses but now has taken to POOPING on them instead! Today I had had enough & I made HER clean the princess panties up. She didn't like that AT ALL! I told her I don't like to clean it up either & that I KNOW she can poop on the potty like a big girl because she WAS doing it until a couple of days ago. If she was sick then I would understand. I DON'T understand it when she is fine, has JUST gotten off the potty without any coaxing from me & then five minutes later she poops on the Princesses.

This has been a recent develpoment over the past week. It usually happens while I'm feeding Charlotte so I'm pretty sure it's about attention. Hopefully I have solved that problem. I give Elizabeth lots of individual attention by the way.

Tonight we had the first major storm of the Monsoon season out here. In town the rain measured 2.64 inches in 2 hours....the rain was still coming at that point during the 10 o'clock newscast. I was just returning home from Mervyn's when it hit. In a matter of seconds....literally just seconds, I was soaked to the skin. I had gotten out to grab a blanket from the trunk so I could get the girls inside without getting them soaked when the sky began to pour buckets of rain. I said enough if this, I'll wait it out in the car!

Keep in mind, the weatherman said the average total rainfall for July, August & September during the Monsoon season here is just over 2 inches. We got that in ONE night in some areas of town. I'm just glad I was in my driveway when the heavy rains hit. The roads flood SO bad out here by our house even when the rain isn't heavy.

Bob had heard me come home & couple of minutes after I pulled up & didn't come inside, he came running out with a box over his head, He was going to use it to keep Elizabeth from getting soaked but she didn't cooperate...having been woken up from a nap. He was soaked but managed to get her inside without her getting very wet. Meanwhile I'm getting soaked freeing Charlotte's car seat from it's base. The sun shade on her seat kept her bone dry. Bobby & I both looked like a couple of drowned fat rats wearing clothes. It doesn't rain that heavy here very often.

We now have a lake in our backyard & I'm hoping it dries up before Crissy comes out with the kids. Our pool is in the middle of our "backyard" lake. Come Friday I will probably have weeds poking up through the rocks due to the rains. Oh well, we need the rain due to the 5 + year drought we've been in.

We are looking forward to Crissy's visit & seeing the kids. I just wish Jon was coming also. I guess that four out of five isn't bad,

I need to get some sleep. My best friend is coming over tomorrow. Since our kids all play well together...they will have fun destroying Elizabeth's room. It will be like a toy bomb went off in there! Better in one room then throughout the house right?

My girls, potty training, my sisters visit comming Friday & "house" hunting

"E" is now offically no longer wearing diapers! FINALLY! My Mother-in-law sent some panties with the Disney Little Princesses on them. I then told "E" that she couldn't pee on the Princesses because they didn't like that. She has been wearing panties WITHOUT plastic pants for 3 days & yes we have accidents, but she is staying dry & telling us when she needs to go most of the time. FINALLY!

"C" is holding her head up for longer periods of time now. Granted, she looks like a little Bobblehead most of the time, but she gets stronger everyday. Yesterday I witnessed what I think is the first time "C" actually smiled at her big sister. It warmed my heart to see that.

As of yesterday we have begun the pre-approval process for buying a new place to live. As you know we bought our current home 2 1/2 years ago. We love our house but it is too small with "C's" arrival. The market value of our home has nearly doubled since we moved in.

We are planning , if all goes well, to purchase land in a rural area...that already has water & power run on the land, & purchase a manufactured (mobile) home. They aren't the tin cans we usually think of a MH's.

The two we have in mind are approx. 2280 Sq. Ft verses the 1251 Sq Ft we currently live in. A realtor would sell our home & we would purchase the land & MH on a contingency. That would be the only way we could come up with the down payment, etc.

If we wait even a year to do this, we will be priced out of the market, as the home builders are gobbeling up the land at an insane pace. According to the relators, more & more people are doing this for the same reasons as we are. They want homes that they can do with as they please & NOT have to get approval from an HOA (Home Owners Associan) before they do.

Why would we move out of a house & into a MH you ask ? The median price of a home in our metro area's market today is $250,000. These are usually 3 or 4 bedroom houses. Since we want to build our dream home & that takes land. We need to grab that land now while we can still find it & its in our price range. Since we are neither American Pioneers nor nomads...we must have a roof over our heads. That is where the MH comes in.

We would live in that while we build our dream home...it will be a couple of years before the building begins. We would use the equity in the land to have the $$$ to build our home ourselves. We would keep the MH after we move into our dream home & that would give us a place to care for my parents if & when that time comes. It is our answer to an assisted care home....of which my parents will never be able to afford...nor would we.

It would allow them to keep some independance & prevent them from driving us insane! LOL! It would also allow them to get most if not all of their "stuff" in one place. That is the thought process.

If we don't do this, then mom & dad would have to become wards of the state & the state would just "stick" them somewhere with substandard care. I know that "C" & "J" have talked about the possibility of my parents living with them. "C" has told me they have. My DH & I were talking about the same thing at the same time! I don't think Mom & Dad would not be happy living on the east coast.

I can't see "C" OR "J" being happy having our parents live with them all under the same roof. Since my parents wouldn't be under the same roof as us, DH & I think we could handle that situation easiest. It can't happen if we don't get that land now though.

Our county, Pinal, is growing so fast that the county is only allowing the home builders to submit 11 building permits per week. Thus, preventing a backlog that slows approval of the permits that regular folks submit. The builders were dropping off 1000+ permits at a time, which is why the county now limits what the builders can submit.

This is actually kind of exciting for us. I will miss my neighbors, but having the freedom to what we want with our home will be worth it. Hopefully it will all work out & the tradition of having at least ONE "Tompkins" living a rural lifestyle will continue.

I am looking forward to seeing "C" & the kids. "E" has been telling me that "C" is comming with her kids "tomorrow" for the past three weeks. She tells me she will share her toys with the boys & "R". She is going to show "C" her new room & my "C's" room. She is going to take the boys swimming too.

"Dusting" the new "drug"

I just received this via e-mail from my MIL. Please pass it along.



Subject: DUST OFF - WARNING


First I'm going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for its crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor. He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs. I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a
week if they used any drugs. Makes them promise they wont.

I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my old! er computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use one of them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my two sons both said they had used them on their computer and messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them. On February 28 I went back to the computer store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my computer.

On March 1st, I left for work at 10 PM. Just before midnight my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 530 am the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work. He was propped up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease! her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy to g et up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.

I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 AM

I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9 through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. Its just compressed air. It cant hurt you. His best friend said no.

Kyle was wrong. I! t's not just compressed air. It also contains a propellant called R2. Its a refrigerant like what is used in your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas. Heavier than air. When you
inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen, out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It cant hurt you. IT KILLS YOU. The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if your number comes up you die. ITS NOT AN OVERDOSE. Its Russian Roulette. You don't die later. Or not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as your breathing it in. If not you die within 2 seconds of finishing "the hit." That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eye's were still open.

The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe its huffing. A! s adults we tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't fit here . And that's why its more accepted. There is no chemical reaction. no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing signals. Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue hurting. It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had only known.

Its easy to say hey, its my life and I'll do what I want. But it isn't. Others are always effected. This has forever changed our family's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be
fixed. The pain is so immense I cant describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One wont talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I cant even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.

After Kyle died another story came out. A Probation Offic! er went to the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there. They don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather than tell everyone about this "new" way of getting high they found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media after Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my house.

We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs. Using Dust Off isn't new and some "professionals" do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They all seem to know about it.

April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself ! sitting on the living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I cant help but wonder
If I died and went to Hell.
----------------

This Officer is asking for everyone who receives this email to forward it to everyone in their address book, even Law Enforcement Officers.

Brain-Dead Woman in Va. Gives Birth
August 02, 2005 10:07 PM EDT
RICHMOND, Va. - A brain-dead pregnant woman who has been kept on life support for nearly three months to give her fetus more time to develop gave birth to a baby girl Tuesday, the woman's brother-in-law said.

There were no complications during delivery and the baby "is doing well," Justin Torres wrote in an e-mail to The Associated Press. The baby, Susan Anne Catherine Torres, weighs one pound 13 ounces and is 13 1/2 inches long, he said. The infant was delivered via caesarean section, the hospital said.

Susan Torres, a 26-year-old researcher at the National Institutes of Health, lost consciousness from a stroke May 7 after aggressive melanoma spread to her brain. Her husband, Jason Torres, said doctors told him his wife's brain functions had stopped.

Jason Torres quit his job to be by his wife's side, and last month her fetus passed the 24th week of development - the earliest point at which doctors felt the baby would have a reasonable chance to survive, the brother-in-law said.

A Web site to help raise money for the family's mounting medical bills had received about $400,000 in donations from around the world as of two weeks ago, Justin Torres said. The family said it must pay tens of thousands of dollars each week that insurance does not cover.

Torres was about seven months' pregnant when the child was delivered. Doctors had hoped to hold off on delivering the child until 32 weeks' gestation. A full-term pregnancy is about 40 weeks.

The infant is being monitored in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at the Virginia Hospital Center in Arlington, about 100 miles north of Richmond.

"The entire staff and administration of Virginia Hospital Center, especially the physicians and nurses caring for Susan Torres and Baby Girl Torres, are delighted with the successful delivery," the hospital said in a statement.

A spokeswoman declined to release any additional information, including Susan Torres' condition and whether or not her life support was still in place.

A telephone message left for the brother-in-law was not immediately returned.

Since 1979, there have been at least a dozen similar cases published in English medical literature, said Dr. Winston Campbell, director of maternal-fetal medicine at the University of Connecticut Health Center, which conducted research on the topic.

---

On the Net:

Susan Torres Fund: http://www.susantorresfund.org/

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and WomenPREGNANCY Q & A & More!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?!
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidermal?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
8. You can'! t believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

HANG ON GIRL!!! (sent to me via e-mail)

Hang on girl!!!

Eleven people were hanging onto a rope under a helicopter - 10 men and one woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off, otherwise they all were all going to fall.

They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids and for men in general without ever getting anything in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men applauded.

SEND THIS STORY TO AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN SO THAT SHE HAS SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT TODAY! AND TO MEN YOU THINK HAS A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.

I have received several e-mails requesting an update as to how we are doing with the newest member of our family home & her big sister.

Charlotte is eating like crazy! She takes between 2 & 4 ounces every 2 to 4 hours. The longest amount of time she has slept at night is 4 1/2 hours....one night only. Every other night she wakes up nearly every 2 hours. I haven't measured her yet but I know she's growing because the preemie clothes that fit her last week no longer fit her. She wasn't a preemie but she was just SO tiny! She has that tiny bone structure similar to her Aunt Crissy. It's fitting since she DOES share Aunt Crissys birthday!

Elizabeth is a fantastic Big Sister. She asks me to wake Charlotte up so she can hold her. She likes to hold the bottle to feed Charlotte, get her diapers, wipes & rash creme. She helps me pick out what Charlotte will be wearing sometimes. She enjoys stroking Charlottes head & telling her how tiny & cute Charlotte is as well.


I have been having cuddle time while Charlotte sleeps in the afternoon until this week. This week we did finger painting one day, we've cleaned a couple of days & today we made Daddy a cake! She poured all the ingredients into the bowl & I helped her stir them up. She greased & floured the pan, put the mix into the pan & helped me frost it when it cooled. She had a blast sprinkeling Scooby-Doo baking decorations on the top.

Today we also covered a soup can with one of her finger paintings & gave it to Daddy for the pens on the desk. Of course Daddy "loved" it & told her how pretty it was. SO far, the green eyed monster hasn't shown up too much. Bobby & I both do our best to have special time with Elizabeth.

I am feeling better each day. The tape stitches have been removed. I can sleep on my stomach some nights & I no longer require pain medication to function. Now my incision has been itching like crazy! It's driving me nuts.

Bob seems to like the company he works for now. I like it because he's not usually gone from 6am until 10 pm or later anymore. It's nice to actually get to see my husband other than telling him hello being half asleep. This company actually seems to have it together & Bob hasn't said anything bad about this company. That's not to say that he isn't a busy man. There seems to be enough work for him. You know how it is..."When Daddy aint happy then NOBODY is happy". Now Daddy is happy & Mommy is no longer pregnant so aside from being sleep deprived...we are in pretty decent shape.

The wild fires are no where near our house. Lets hope no new fires break out near ANYONE's house.

Thats about it for now. Thanks for all of the inquiries about the family, the well wishes & in some cases gifts, e-mails & cards. Therese, we recieved yours this week in the mail. Thank you.

Just a warning....this may get a little long.
I was induced on Sunday May 29th at 39 weeks becuase DH changed jobs & our insurance ran out on May 31st. We were trying to stay off of COBRA insurance...without any luck. ANYWAY....I went in on Sunday May 29 at 4pm. Things started out with pills inserted behind the cervix, 3 doses in 12 hours without much luck. Next came the Pitocin drip, off & on for the rest of the induction except the last 12 hours. Charlotte heart rate kept decelerating while I was on this. Next came Elidel?....it s a tampon looking thing that is inserted into the cervix to help with dialation & effacement. That was used for 12 hours. Then the contractions started comming hard & fast but Charlotte wasn't dropping. She was still at minus 2 station. I went ahead & got the epidural because they said if she didn't drop soon & I couldn't push her out I'd have to had an emergency c-section. Two hours after the epi, they broke my water & the Dr. though I was having a 9 or 10 pound baby. With my whole 5 pushes & an internal monitor they lost Charlottes heartbeat 3 times. They threw scrubs at DH & escorted my mom to the waiting room. DH said they pumped me full of drugs as we went down the hall to O.R. & more even as they cut me open. From the time I was on the table to the time I heard Charlotte cry was 2 minutes. She arrived on May 31st at 3:56pm. She weighed 6 pounds, 8 ounces & was 18 1/2 inches long. I don't think I went completely under from the drugs until I heard her cry. In the middle of this long induction, we tried the birthing ball, reflexology, aroma therapy, massage, walking & hypnosis to get her to come down. Nothing worked. After she was out the Dr discovered that she couldn't come down because her cord was too short. He said that in 20 years of delivering babies, this was only the third one he'd ever delivered with a cord short enough to prevent a vaginal birth. When I consented to the epi I had a feeling it was going to be a c-section. When I signed the epi & emergency c-section forms I told DH that I needed my mom. She made the 45 minute trip to the hospital & parked within 25 minutes for DH call. While they put the second IV in, because the first one stopped working, it took the nurses & the epidural lady a total of EIGHT tries to get a good vein. My veins were rolling & blowing. The epidural lady finally put it in my wrist after she tried twice before & both veins blew out. By the time Charlotte arrived, I was just glad that she was okay & that it was all over.
Recovery wasn't fun either. I had gas so severe from the surgery that you could see the gas bubble rolling around in my stomach....like I'd never had the baby! After vomiting 4 times in 3 hours...not being able to hold down liquid, the nurses gave me some pills to help break down the gas. They helped but then they gave me what they call "The magic drink" & it worked wonders. In cup you pour 1/2 sprite & 1/2 milk over ice...then drink it. Within an hour, I was passing gas like crazy & with the 2nd drink....the instestional gas was gone! The taste was similar to cream soda.
We were discharged Friday evening & are recovering. My parents are keeping my LC until Sunday afternoon. DH went back to work Monday & my best friend came over this afternoon & cooked 3 meals, scrubbed my kitchen floor & did some laundry for me. I didn't ask, she just insisted. I love her like a sister. She is AWESOME!
My pain killers are kicking in so I'm going to catch a nap before Charlotte wakes up.

My Mother's Day surprise

My parents & my oldest brother Bill came down from Glendale to the house DH & I share. They came down on Mother's Day & it was a complete surprise to me. They called & told me they were comming downbecause Mom wanted to be with family on Mother's Day & I was in no condition to travel the 70 miles to see her. My DH also had the emergency pager. This is signifacant becasue they come down once per year...either Christmas or Christmas Eve. My brother is very allergic to cats & we have two so he's been to our house once...two years ago. The THREE of them came down yesterday as a Mother's Day gift to me. My Dad vacummed & shampooed my living room carpet. He got stains out that have been there for a year or so that I was unable to remove. He vacummed all of the living room furniture & dusted with the Kirby. My brother & DH painted furniture for our three year olds new bedroom & my mother finished painting the trim & the door in our three year olds new bedroom. They refused to let me do one thing. My DH also cooked BBQ chicken on the grill, made mashed potatoes & baked beans along with Texas toast. We purchased an orange & a lime parfait for desert. All of the furniture didn't get painted but my brother helped me move the remaining furniture into postion so that if I had the energy to sand &/or paint it I would be able to. Yesterday was also the first 100 degree day here in the valley. My neighbors, best friend & my own father don't think this baby will wait until June to be born. While I'm having a fairly good energy day I need to get a few things done around the house.

Where do I begin?

Where do I begin?

The charity came out & got the boxes for clothing, toys & misc. leftovers from our garage sale. I was correct in saying it cleared out 2/3 of one wall of the garage. I can actually WALK in there now!

Since then we've added a baby crib to the garage until we get DD #1 bedroom finished. After months of begging, pleading, bitching & nagging I FINALLY got DH to paint the ceiling in DD #1 room & move the furniture I could not physically move. Sometimes I wish I had Telekinetic powers! It would make my life SOOOO much easier at times. LOL!

He put up the ceiling fan he bought nearly 1 month ago for her room as well.

Tomorrow I'm planning on taking DD to the pool at the YMCA in the morning in hopes that it wears her out enough to take a nap. This would allow me to paint the walls in her room without stopping a thousand times to answer her questions, play Barbies with her, change the movie in her room, etc., etc., etc. I can get the walls done in about 2 hours without any interuptions. That will just leave me with trim & furniture to paint. I can get those done in the evenings after DH comes home from work within a matter of days. I have to get ALL of that done before we can move DD into her new room & set the room up for the baby.

My sister got her promotion from Captian to Major in the US Army last month. She is on the list to have her rank presented to her....meaning the pins she wears on her uniform I think. She is excited & I am so VERY proud of her. She works her tail off, is very driven & she has earned everything she has. Her DH is a SAHD & artist. Unfortunately, both my family & his thinks poorly of him because he IS a SAHD. In my family, just DH & I are the only ones that seem to like him.

My whole outlook is this, SAHD are becomming more & more common. SAHD do the same thing as SAHM do & get even MORE crap about it from all sides. My sister is a DR of veternary medicine & has a career that allows her DH to be a SAHD to their three children. The family seems to forget that it is THEIR relationship, it works for them & they should be happy that their grandkids/nephews & neice don't have to be raised by a caregiver outside of the home.

When I ask them why is it any different for ME to be a SAHM or Jon to be a SAHD, they just clam up. The reason being that THERE IS NO DIFFERANCE. If they think poorly of him being a SAHD then they have to think poorly of me for being a SAHM. I've come right out & said that to them. They either shut up or say, "Well, it's just differant! That's all!"

They don't like to be faced with the truth or have their own words used against them. I'm the only one in the family with the balls to tell them like it is. I always have been.

My sister just chooses to retreat from the family for the most part. I am beginning to pull away as well. One brother has pulled away completely! I think the other brother will as well if he ever gets back on his emotional & financial feet & moves out of mom & dad's home.

I love my parents but they don't seem to think that what they say, do or how they act has many if any consequences. They don't HAVE to like the spouses that my siblings & myself have chosen for ourselves, but I think that they SHOULD give them basic respect. Everyone likes my DH....but I'm waiting for my DH to have had enough, "let go" & then they won't like him either.

Enough of that subject. I had a Dr. appointment last Wednesday & the Dr said the babys growth is right on schedule & my weight gain is good. I'm up to a whopping 8 pounds total gained this pregnancy. I can feel that the baby has dropped though because I can breath better, have less indigestion, have to pee more & am having ALOT of braxtion hicks contractions. If I am up on my feet for more than 15 to 20 minutes, my stomach becomes hard as a rock. We're talking you could bounce Quarters off this stomach hard. It softens up within 5 minutes of sitting down as well. My best friend says that means it won't be long before this baby comes. I plan on mentioning it to my OB on my visit next Wednesday. After that visit I have to see her once a week until I deliver. My breast milk is comming in as well. Even my DH noticed how much larger my breasts have become in the last week. It's almost as if I have these ailen breasts that don't belong to me! What happened! Have I had breasts all along that I just had to "add water" to them & they grow to 10X their original size? GEE! That just means that when I finish breastfeeding that I will no longer have breasts. They will be replaced with sagging udders that have dried up & have become old & wrinkled. !LOL! Thank goodness that DH loves me no matter what! I think our vows might have said 'For better or worse, for richer or poorer, for sane or insane & for small butt or big butt.....till beauty departs us!" Well if it was till beauty departs us, we BOTH would have left right after DD #1 was born! LOL! Yes I jest. I'm just thankful that I saw the light & married the right man on the second shot at marriage. Like they say, it's only a dumb mistake if you make it more than once.

My Aunt sent this to me today. I just thought I would share it.
Mary
Enough................... Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said "I love you and I wish you enough." The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom." They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have, " I replied "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?". "I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral" she said. "When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?". She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory... I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye. She then began to cry and walked away. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Send this to the people you will never forget and remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you. If you don't send it to anyone it may mean that you are in such a hurry that you have forgotten your friends.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH!!!

Since my last post things have been happening. Not bad things, just things. There was another HOA meeting that lasted for 3 1/2 hours. I won't bore you details but lets just say the man running it was a complete & total unprofessional a$$hole. When he tells people that if they don't like something they should just move......he's an a$$hole.

Next, our neighbor went half with us on new rock for our front yards. When we moved in 2+ years ago, we basically had the left overs of sifted pea gravel. Needless to say, that stuff blows & washes away easily. There were many spots in the yard that all of the raking could no longer cover up the fact we were missing ALOT of gravel. We went with 3/4 inch walker gold gravel & we think it looks great. We've gotten many compliments from neighbors on how nice it looks.

My brother & mom kept our DD over night last Friday. The community we live in was having a community garage sale. The HOA was SUPPOSED to put up signs. They did but they were late AND worthless. We had neon posterboad from a sale that we planned to have but rain cancelled it. So we made signs that said "Community Sale Bagdad Rd" with arrows pointing the way to our street. Our street was the only one that had more than 2 or 3 sales.Our street had TWELVE sales. As soon as our signs went up, the traffic flow was incrediable. There weren't enough places for shoppers & browsers to park! We sold a bunch of crap compaired to what all of the neighbors had, but what we sold was basically what was left over from the three sales we've had over the past 4 years. We still made over $100! A charity is comming out to pick up what we didn't sell next Wednesday. That will clear out 2/3s of wall space on one side of our garage. I will probably toss in a few more things before I seal the boxes for pick up, but not much because there isn't much room left! It feels so good to get rid of that stuff...FINALLY!

As for baby things, I think I've been given nearly as many clothes as I've given away in the past few years! I've also been given 3 partial packs of newborn diapers! I also found out that I DON'T have Gestiational Diabetes. WOO HOO! I wasn't expecting to be diagnosed with it but there IS a family history of it.

I didn't have a nap, didn't sleep well & woke up about 8am yesterday. I did 10 loads of laundry, baked cupcakes & vacuumed our bedroom also. You would THINK I'd have been tired enough to get a good nights sleep, but it wasn't so. Instead I've been woken up by having to go pee &/or by gas three times since 11pm.

It is now 4:28 am & Ive been typing for about 30 minutes or so. I know I'm still tired because I'm yawning like crazy. If I overdo things, it takes me 3 days to recover! DH got home early & loaded the dishwasher & ran it while I was doing laundry & writing in my paper diary....forcing myself to "take a break" from housework. DD was on the PBS Kids website playing Boo Bah & Teletubbies.

The one thing I correctly was as soon the laundry was dry I put it away. That kept it from piling up on me & prevented us from living out of clothes baskets for a few days.

Vacuuming REALLY hurt my lower back for some reason. I am not looking forward to vacuuming the living room & hallway tomorrow. There are some days that I feel like this baby has dropped & others I feel like she is in my ribcage.

Tine for me to try to get back to sleep now.

It's been a busy couple of weeks for me. My MIL has come out from Illinois for a visit with her longtime boyfriend. It was the first time he had ever seen my DD. He has been "away" for awhile recently. My MIL is thinking of moving out here from Illinois & we are hoping that her boyfriend will move with her. It is unlikely that he would make thge nove until after his own mother were to pass away. She is in her Eigthties & in rapidly declining health. If her were to stay in Illinois most of the family would uinderstand completely. He came out to do some repair work on my MILs home. We went to see MIL the afriday she was here. She kept our DD for a few hours while I went to the Dr. I had a test done for Gestational Diabetes. I haven't heard anything from the Dr & I had another appointment this Wednesday past. I'm assuming at the moment that she either hasn't gotten the test results back or that no news is good news. I have another appointment in 2 weeks so I will ask about the results then, as long as nothing happens in the mean time. Back to MIL Friday... MIL got a birhtday cake for DDs 3rd birthday. Those in attendance were, DD's Grandma P, Aunt Michelle, Daddy & Mommy, Uncle Jeff & DD's Godparents Rob & Lori. She got clothes, Barbie dolls, Barbies doll friend Blaine, some Clifford books, a battery operated dog that barks & a few Little People toys. DD had so much fun blowing out the candles that she requested "more candles" after she finished blowing them out the first time. My MIL & boyfriend came to our house on Sunday for a cookout dinner. They played with DD & gave her an easter basket....a week before Easter. Then MIL & her boyfriend returned to Illinois the following Tuesday. All in all, it was a nice short visit. For Easter Sunday we drove the 70 miles to my parents house. We had a ham dinner, hunted 48 plastic Easter eggs & my parents gave DD her birthday presents from them. My 40 year old brother also had a blast playing with his niece. My mother was in one of her "woe is me" moods & seemed to make a miraculos recovery once dinner was finished, I had put away all of the food & cleared the table & it was time for birthday cake. She offered to help blow out the candles but I told her I didn't want her to if she was still sick. She claimed to be sick earlier in the day. Then she said I'm NOT sick, I'm getting better!" I told that I still didn't want her to blow out the candles because being 7 months pregnant I didn't need to get sick. She didn't like it but she also didn't mention how "awful" she was feeling or that she was sick again for the rest of the day. I am so tired of her ALWAYS having to be the one that hurts the worst or feels the worst. On easter Sunday she asked how I was feeling. I told her I was tired & I ached all over. I was was having some problems with my back & my Siatica but it was part of being pregnant. Immediately she says " Well, when I was pregnant I had morning & motion sickness the entire nine months!" Then she went on to refresh my memory as to her laundry list of problems with all four of her pregnancies. They were all NORMAL aches & pains of pregnancy by the way. When she finished I told her "I KNOW mom. You ALWAYS are the one that hurts or feels the worst. That or you are ALWAYS the one that has felt the worst or had the hardest time in the past". After that she got off the couch & asked DD to come to the table & color or draw her a picture or something. I just get sick & tired of it! She even got MAD when I told her since I cleaned the table & put away the food, she could do the dishes. She didn't ask me to clear the table I just did it. I did it while my dad was removing the rest of the ham from the bone. My parents have a small kitchen & my mom is a big lady...me too since I'm 7 months along. if I waited for my mom, then she'd be complaining & barking orders like "Okay, now get the potatoes & put them in the BLUE container" She was even making not so nice comments on how I was getting up off of the floor after playing with my daughter! WTF! I am 200+ pounds 7 & months pregnant! I need a freaking crane for assistance sometimes & I usually feel like I've been kicked in the crotch! How the He!! am I SUPPOSED to get up off of the floor! We ended up staying for about an hour after we finished with the birthday cake. I just could not take any more! GGGRRR!!! It was so bad that my DH even said to my dad & brother "Wow! Now I know where Angie gets her actions from!" I am worse when I am pregnant & tired, but I usually do pretty well at NOT acting like my mom when I'm feeling good. My DH made it a point to tell me that I do pretty good about NOT acting like my mom when I'm feeling good, so I KNOW it's not in my imagination. I have to see her at least one more time before I deliver the baby. When I do, I plan on having a bag packed for my DD. Mom can keep it at her house because it is for when she is watching my DD while I give birth to #2. That way all she has to do is pick DD up from the hospital & go home. This will keep DH from having to deal with my mother more than necessary while I'm in L&D. There will also be folder containing maps & directions to the hospital, a copy of DD's insurance card & phone numbers to reach us at the hospital in the event of an emergency. A map of the hospital campus with the route to take to L&D will be highlighted! If she complains about ONE thing while she is there to pick up our DD, I WILL tell her to get out & shut the "F" up. Gee, my hormones are getting the best of me right now! Can you tell? LOL!

The nesting has started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so the nesting has now started! I've helped DH with the backyard, digging up weeds, laying cement edgers & raking river rock. I had to take frequent breaks but I couldn't help myself but to do it. I've also been pitching "stuff" like crazy lately. Things like Mc Toys that my DD doesn't play with anylonger, clothes that will never fit me again & the multiples of misc. kitchenware that DH just "has to have" because it's a good deal. I've been tellin ghim for YEARS that just becuase it's a good deal doesn't mean that we need to bring it home with us. He is FINALLY getting it! Now if he'd only let me pitch or donate the stuff he wants to put on e-bay, I'll be a much happier woman! I wouldn't mind hanging on to it if I was sure he'd try to sell it on e-aby, but I knw he won't. Quite frankly, I won't have the energy OR the time to mess with it once I have an infant AND a 3 year old to care for day in & day out. I don't ahve the time or energy to deal with it RIGHT now & the baby isn't due until early June! I spent 90 minutes sorting , tossing or organinzing my DD toys tonight. I also washed ALL of her FP Little People in hot, hot soapy water. I did 5 loads of laundry & put thme away, I swept the kitchen floor & got down on my hands & knees to scrape off tape from DD art projects & I tossed an entire kitchen sized trash can full of magazines. Oh, I must not forget that I bleached & scrubbed down the huge trash can we roll to the curb for trash collection twice per week. Like I said before, the nesting has started. I could keep right on cleaning but I know if I do, I will have overdone it & be worth zip for the next 2 days. All of the animals as well as my DH & DD are sleeping right now. I don't sleep for more than about 3 hours at a time right now. I have more to do than I can possibly get done before my MIL comes down for a visit this Sunday. DH WON'T be sleeping in on Saturday becasue I'm waking his behind up so he can help me with the house. We have carpets to clean, pictures to hang & a TON of other things to do before Sunday. Do I want my house to be perfect for my MIls visit? No, it isn't realisitc. DO I want the house to be presentable before my MILs visit? Of course I do & that IS possible. On Friday, my MIL is keeping my DD so I can take my 1 hour test for Gestational Diabetes. Then Friday evening my MIL is having a mini birthday party for my DD. It's a week early but since my MIL lives in Illinois & hasn't seen my DD for about 1 1/2 years...I don't think it is too early. My energy level is finally crashing so I'm off to bed. Send me backache relief vibes so I can continue to get my home presentable before my MIL comes to visit us at the house.

Hormonal blue pregnancy day :-(

This Sunday past, we attended a b-day party for my friend 2 year old. Everyone complemented me on how cute they thought I was, how I had really popped, etc. Meanwhile, I'm feeling exhausted & that I LOOK like a complete trainwreck. Monday night I had a potty accident in my sleep. This is the first one this pregnancy but MAN I woke up in a wet spot the size of Lake Erie & I had body pillow between my legs that is equvilent to the size of Hoover Dam! Everything was SOAKED of course & I was SO embarrassed. DH thoughts are, your pregnant honey....it happens once in awhile! Husband or not to pee the bed at age 35 for ANY reason is embarrassing. What happens is that I get SO exhausted from napping all night (waking up every 2-3 hours to pee or readjust my pillows) & then chasing after a three year old all day, that I get to a point where NOTHING will wake me up. I'm not upset or ungreatful that I'm pregnant again, it' s just that the exhaustion, body aches, food craving & food aversions, pregnancy acne, etc get old. To date, I've only gained a total of four pounds this pregnancy. Since I started out at 218 & my OB wants me to keep my gain down to 10 pounds, it doesn't REALLY concern me that much. I guess I'm pissing all my weight away at night or something! LOL! Last night I just completely lost it. My emotions were all over the place. After we got DD put to bed for the evening, I just laid in bed & cried my eyes out. I went on & on to DH about how achy I am all of the time. I no longer know what it is to sleep through the night without being so tired that it's not a restful sleep. I always feel like a trainwreck & I feel as if I look even worse. I have the acne of a teenager. I can hardly bend over at the waist to pick things up off the floor. I'm home alone all day & I can't keep up with the housework due to a lack of energy. I could continue but I won't I was basically feeling sorry for myself & having a blue pregnancy day. DH is great! I don't have much to complain about when it comes to him. He rubs my feet, legs & back when he can tell I'm having touble with them. I don't even usually have to ask. He either fixes dinner or cleans up the dinner dishes a couple of times each week. He changes the litterbox (something a PG lady isn't supposed to be doing due to the possibility of Toxoplasmosis) before my ultra sensitive PG nose detects the smell. Sometimes he even does a load of laundry or two without my asking him. He works LONG hours to enable me to be a SAHM to our child(ren). I even get the occasional bouquet of flowers "just because". Like I said, I was just having a REALLY hormonal day. I felt MUCH better after I got it all out.

It's another girl

Since my last post DH surprised me with a second honeymoon to Las Vegas. It is where we got married four years ago this March. By surprise I mean it was a COMPLETE surprise. He arranged kenneling for my dog & dropped him off, arranged childcare for a 3 year old daughter with my brother, packed everything the three of us needed for the trip & I was clueless until we arrived at my brother house to drop our daughter off for 3 nights & 2 days. DH did VERY well packing my things in a hurry & in secret. He shorted me a pair of undies & a shirt, but I made due. He remembered everything from my toothbrush & pre-natal vitamins to TUMS & my slip on sandals. The best part was that it was a well planned & executed surprise. The only thing I wanted to do when we got married was ride the Gondolas at The Venitian Hotel. Even though it rained the entire time we were there, we rode the Gondolas located inside of the hotel. He said that aside from the fact we are expecting baby number two in June & we wouldn't be able to get away like this for a couple of years, that he wanted me to be able to ride those gondolas. The room he reserved at the New York New York Hotel had a king size bed & a clover leaf spa. He even brought bath salts to help enhance the enjoyment of the spa. How lucky am I to have such a thoughtful & loving husband!

As for Baby number two we found out "it" is a girl. She was VERY active during the ultrasound yesterday morning. My husband was there & he was amazed at how much ultrasound technology has improved since we had daughter number one. The tech even took a 3-D picture of our baby girl. Daughter number one also kisses & rubs my belly often. She kisses & hugs the baby in my belly by rubbing & kissing my belly. She is SUCH a sweet little girl. I just hope that the horns don't pop out of her head for very long once I deliver this baby.

Potty training is going well on most days with our daughter. She receives a sticker each time she uses the potty like a big girl. There is a chart attatched to the back of her bathroom door. It seems to be working for right now.

Last night we began clearing out the babys room in preperation of her arrival. It WAS our home office, but since we only have three bedrooms, the home office is now in our living room.

This child is telling me to lay down, so its off to bed I go.

Bye for now!

2:17 AM

It's 2:17 AM & I can't sleep (again). I thought good sex was supposed to help you relax & sleep better! WTF! Yes, DH & I had good sex but it woke the child I'm carrying inside of me up. Now this child is praticing gymnastics, using my insides for padding! UGH! That & the OJ I drank is giving me MAJOR gas. Wouldn't you know it, DH & DD are sleeping like angels in their beds. That's okay because when this baby comes, NONE of us will be getting much sleep. As for medical insurance, ours changed on January 1st. We still haven't received our new insurance cards & DH Bosslady refused to get me ANY info on our insurance. Finally I told DH either he gets info or I drive to the office & demand it myself. Without a phone number I couldn't even call & make sure the cards were on their way! Since my next appointment was to be January 17th, I really NEEDED the info ASAP. I call the insurance company only to find out that the insurance DH has been paying for to cover DD & I, wasn't even in their computer system! WTF! I call DH & tell him about it & he asks me if I called his Bosslady yet. I calmly assured him that he didn't want me to call her at that time because I was really ticked. To be on the safe side, I called my Dr & changed my appointment to January 27th. HELLO! We want to find out the gender of our child sometime before it is born!!!! Needless to say I am MORE than a little annoyed about that. Everythings not bad though in my world. DD has begun to potty train with some success. Each time she uses the potty chair she gets a sticker for her potty chair chart. Each night whe Daddy comes home from work she takes him to her bathroom to show him her new stickers for the day. I went to her room to check on her & she has the doll cradle my Grandfather Tompkins made filled with teddy bears of various sizes, watching a movie with her on her bed. this is VERY fitting becuase before my Grandfather Tompkins had a stroke, he collected teddy bears & ended up with over 300 of them. They were all sizes, types & price ranges. The one he sent home with us before his stroke is so large that he had to buy the bear it's own plane ticket to get it home! What makes it extra special is that my mother made it for him one Christmas. It was also one of his favorites. My best friends FIL is off of a respirator for a collapsed lung. He is an alchololic & got really drunk. While drunk, he fell & landed on a coffe table. In doing so, he broke two ribs, punctured & partially collaped a lung & contracted pneumonia while recovering in the hospital. That was 15 days ago. Today, he was able to sit up in a chair unassisted & is off the respirator. Her 3 1/2 tear ods son had his first soccer game & scored a goal. She has a Dr appointment tomorrow due to an abnormal pap smear. The last abnormal one determined her to have precancerous cells. She had surgery & had them removed, but that was before she had kids. She's now DONE having kids so she claims not to be concerned. I know better. I offered to watch the kids while she was at the Dr so her MIL could be at the hospital. MIL wants the distraction & to watch the kids, but my best friend was very greatful that I offered. Since I love her like my own sister, it's the least I could do. We are planning to meet next weekend so we can deliver our old computer desk to her house & assemble it. DH fixed their refridgerator about 2 weeks ago & it's still going strong. her DH thanked us again for that. DH was like "They have given us so much stuff & have done so much for you (meaning me) I owe it to them. I owe them that & more". It feels good to give them something for a change. Even DH said that. The value of our home has increased by nearly $50,000 since we moved in 2 years ago. That was a nice surprise. I could go on but I'm FINALLY getting sleepy, am nearly gasless & the baby has calmed down. Until next time.... stay safe.

Mary