Come to the edge

“Come to the edge.”

“We can't. We're afraid.”

“Come to the edge.”

“We can't. We will fall!”

“Come to the edge.”

And they came.

And he pushed them.

And they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918

French Poet, Philosopher

Are you creative?

I have vowed to let my creative side out in 2006. These are some the ways I plan to accomplish this.

1. Postcards4Peace Create & send at least one postcard to this site.
http://community.livejournal.com/postcards4peace/

You create or mail a postcard with your wishes for peace written on the front. It is not a political or religous site. Just a site inteneded to promote World Peace.

2.Become an active PostCrosser.
http://www.postcrossing.com/about
Membership is free. You submit your information & request up to FIVE addresses of fellow postcrossers. You can purchase post cards or make your own & send them to the addresses you receive. Once the postcard has been registered by the receiver as having been received, you can request more addresses. You recieve cards in the same manner from all over the world. I will share my post crds with you that I get from far away lands!

3.I made & mailed out my one & only secret that NOBODY other than myself knows about. Even if it never gets posted to the website, it felt good just to "tell" someone about it. New secrets are posted each Sunday.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

I made my first paper crane this morning!

I was cruising the net this morning while all others in my home were asleep. I found a site with simple to follow diagrams (simple for me) to make a crane. I will post a picture when I get the digital images downloaded to the computer.

The site is: http://www.sadako.com

When I blew the hole on the bottom to open the body of my crane & put it down I got all happy like a little kid. I heard myself saying “Cool! I DID it! I ACTUALLY made this crane WOW!”

Who would have thought that a bunch of folds on a piece of paper could make me feel so good? LOL!

My oldest daughter really has enjoyed playing with my Paper Crane today.

A Love Hate Relationship

Let me start off by saying this a vent about some members of my immediate family. I love them because they are my family but that does not obligate me to LIKE them or their actions right now.

My family consists of the following:

1. Dad (aka as liar & exaggerator extrodinaire)
2. Mom (original drama queeen & Master Manipulator)
3. Brother 1 (Know it all & general F.I.T.Head pissyface)
4. Brother 2 (Sir Jock & fantastic Father to his only child)
5. Sister 1 (myself the ex-drama queen workiing to change her ways)
6. Sister 2 (intelligent, smart & silent mother of 3 on the East Coast)

For all of the good my family has done for me & how much they have loved me in the past, I love them. This latest bit of drama makes me sick.

ASSUMING this all to be 100% true, it really is sickening to me.

In a nutshell, my parents don't have insurance for my mothers impending operation. Accusations are flying that my Dad & B1 are purposely trying to play on my grandmothers easily confused state of mind & get as much $$$ as they can out of her. Meanwhile, B2 calls & chews out B1 for his actions & most probably being the "ringleader" in this latest financial saga. Then there is S1 (me) who has heard from B2 & Aunt that B1 told them that I called B1 & chewed his ass for his manipulative ways concerneing my Grandmother! I HAVEN'T EVEN SPOKEN TO HIM OF THIS! Yes I am pissed off that B1 has told B2 & Aunt that I chewed his ass on the phone when I didn't even SPEAK to him on the phone or otherwise about ANY of this crap! For the first time in my life I have kept my mouth shut & I am STILL being dragged into this crap & having words & entire conversations put into my mouth that NEVER happened! It doesn't mean that I don't want to say anything about the drama, I do. I have kept my mouth shut only because my daughter is very attatched to her Uncle & her Grandparents & I cannot take those relationships from her. If I said what was truly on my mind about the actions of some, I would effectively sever the ties that my daughter holds so dear. Instead I am standing by the sidelines, keeping my mouth shut & being a sounding board for those family members that need it. Meanwhile, my stomach churns in disgust to even think that what B1 is being accused of, taking advantage of my grandmother's generous nature & her savings that she must live on. Excuse me but WHY IN THE HE!! MUST MY FAMILY ACT LIKE A BUNCH OF SEVENTH GRADE GIRLS RIGHT NOW! The ones I am speaking of are Mom, Dad & B1. NOT included in this are S1 (me), S2 & B2. It is beyond time for those acting like Middle School aged children to grow up, suck it up & support THEMSELVES & STOP living off the hard work & compassion of others. They are financial Vampires & will suck those around them dry!

Enough said & I feel a bit better now.

Thanks

Enough said

Pretty day Photos....FINALLY!

Right now I am dealing with one of my BIGGEST problems in my quest to lose weight....emotional eating. I knew I was doing that last night as I stuffed animal crackers down my throat but I was counting them to. How weird is that? If I had bought any junk food when I did grocery shopping Monday then I would have REALLY done some damage. I was proud of myself & didn't buy any of it. Not even chewing gum! At least I am aware I was eating because I was upset about my mom. I guess if I eat due to emotions today I'll try to steer myself toward the salad in the fridge.

*NOTE* Today makes FOUR days without caffeine OR soda pop consumption! WOO HOO! I've had the headache, stomachache & the even the shakes. Those were all mainly on Wednesday. Thursday I was feeling REALLY sluggish both mentally & physically. Today, I am feeling pretty good so far. As good as I can feel anyway, all things considered. I know in the end that dumping the soda habit will go a long way in my weight loss efforts & I will feel much better. I will have to adopt a new saying when I am tempted to drink it again.

"Soda...it's just not worth it!" I say that because I have kicked this particular habit before, only to drink more of it when I start up again. I know from past experience that I am a person that cannot have even a little bit....or I won't be able to stop when it comes to soda. The sad thing is that I have KNOWN this....for YEARS now. I remember telling my sister that very thing about myself shortly after she graduated from Vet school! She graduated back in 1999! (insert Prince song here)

I managed to gain 4 pounds at Disneyland & Bob gained 5. I started to journal my food & then said "F" it! I am on vacation. I DID wear my pedometer though. We walked ALOT for a couple of chunks that aren't used to walking much.

As for the trip NOT related to eating goes, we had fun. Only one ride we really wanted to go on was closed. Of course it was one Elizabeth remembered from our first trip & wanted to ride as well. The Haunted Mansion was closed. They were undecorating it from Christmas. *sniff sniff*

We rode Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters FIVE times at Elizabeths request. I got to ride three rides that I've ALWAYS wanted to but they were closed or the line was 2 hours long to ride them. They were Autotopia, The Matterhorn Bobsleds & It's a Small World. Liz rode Autotopia & the Matterhorn with me. She also rode The Matterhorn with Bobby. Charlotte rode everything EXCEPT Autotopia & The Matterhorn. She was too small to ride both of them. Lizzys fav was Buzz Lightyear. Charlottes was probably Small World. We also filled two autograph books with signatures from characters in three days & had lunch with the Princesses.

Thats about all for now as I need to eat before the baby wakes up again.

My Mother has WHAT? Squamous Cell Carcinoma?

Forgive me in advance if this post gets long winded or rambles. As you read you may understand why my thoughts are a big jumble right now.

I was in Disneyland this past Saturday, looking for my husband on Main Street, as I was hungry & had told him I would be on the street watching the parade when he finished in the gift shop. I look out a door of the shop to see him motioning for me to come over to him. I'm thinking to myself "damm! Charlotte JUST got to sleep & The Parade of Dreams is going to wake her up. This had better be important." He hands me his cell phone telling me call my mom. There's an emergency at home & she won't tell me about it". We both figured that someone had died, as there are several relatives, my father included, that aren't in the best of health. I retreated into the gift shop to call my mother, her voice was a bit panicked. She told me my dad was in California working & my brother was at a friends house so could I come get her & take her to the hospital. I then had to tell her I wasn't in the state & was at Disneyland so I wasn't able to take her. She asked me why I didn't tell her we were going so I just said it was a last minute thing. I didn't want to tell her I thought she was a nosy bitty & it was none of her business, so I told her the last minute thing instead. asking her what was wrong I heard the panick rise in her voice a bit. She tells me that the growth she has on the back of her head, about golf ball size for the past few years, exploded. It's contents were covering the curtian behind her couch, part of her couch, the entire back of her shirt & had saturated TWO bath towels. She was pulling chunks of green stuff about the consistancy of grissle out of her hair & that she could put her finger inside the hole & felt more chunks inside her head. Then she proceeds to tell me that she was thinking about taking a pair of scissiors to her head to see if she could get more out! That is when I was on the verge of losing it completely! I remember telling her "Don't take sicissors to your head! Keep your fingers out of it! Call Bill! Call an ambulance! Mom if I get home to find out that you have made things worse by sticking your fingers in it or cutting it open with scissors, I will tell you everything I feel like saying to you right now & so help me it WON'T be nice!" Keep in mind I am standing near the door of the main gift shop on main street Disneyland at 3pm & am noticing that there is nobody anywhere near me. I can't even imagine what anybody that heard my end of the conversation was thinking to themselves, not that I honestly care much. I talked mom into calling Bill & telling her I would call her when I returned home on Sunday. As soon as I hung up the phone with her I silently fell apart. I stood next to the door & cried the ugly cry silently as I watched my husband outside with our girls watching the parade. I was SO mad at my mom & SO frustrated because I grew up with her maniuplating me & pushing my buttons. I thought to myself "damm her! She did it...AGAIN!" I was feeling helpless & worrying about her at the same time, KNOWING that she would make every excuse to keep from going to the hospital.

After the parade passed & Bobby took Liz to get Tiggers autograph I called my Dad making him promise to make her go to the hospital if she hadn't gone when he got home from Cali. He did. Less than an hour later he left a voicemail assuring me that Bill was making her go to the hospital & he would call me if it was anything I needed to come home for immediately. That night I hardly slept & when I did had nightmares of my mothers entire head exploding all over her livingroom.

After we finished our visit with Bobs Grandma Marie, I called Dad to get the scoop. That is when I heard it! The news that kids don't ever want to hear. Not death, but the OTHER medical news no child wants to hear. The Emergency Room doctors told mom that it looks like she has cancer. CANCER! WTF! Dad was very clam & matter of fact about it all. Telling me it looks like Squamous Cell Carcinoma, which is a type of skin cancer. He said it is a very aggressive cancer & the survival rate is only about 15% for 12 to 18 months. As I hear this I begin to tear up & try to keep my voice from wavering so my Daddy couldn't hear it. It is a cancer that attacks soft tissue so it being on the back of her head is the best possible location for it to be in. I didn't comprehend everything he said, but I do remember him saying this cancer has a tendency to send off feelers & there is concern about it heading for moms spinal cord. It was shortly after that I told him I needed to go & take care of the baby. The baby was fine, I just knew I wouldn't be able to hold my composure, or what was left of it, much longer. I cried silent tears, so I wouldn't alarm my oldest & told my DH the news. It hit a cord with him because his step father passed suffering from Cancer & Valley Fever. It probably took an hour before I called my Grandmother Gaskins (my Moms mom) to see how she was doing, then my sister, then my mother. I've had crying jags since Sunday & I am having one right now. From doing a little research on the net, I know it is curable. The Dr.s are hoping that it is encapsulated & that a core surgery will get it all. It will be two weeks before the test results from Pathology will reach the surgeon. Once they do, Mom was told she will have to very dilligent to get the follow up appointments & surgery scheduled. Whether it is cancer or not, the Dr seems to think it probably was, the rest of that substance will have to be removed. There is no way to avoid it.

My parents & brother went to the bookstore to take a nutritional approach to beating this cancer. Mom says it feels better than sitting there & doing nothing. Working is difficult for her concentrate on, but it helps. She was supposed to watch the girls for a few hours this Saturday so Bobby & I could go out. I told her if she didn't feel up to it, she didn't have to. She said that she wants to see the girls & is looking forward to it. She said that waiting for the results is very difficult & that she is scared but is determined to beat this.

She has to be terrified. I know I am scared & it's not even in my body! I don't know how mom, the family or myself will feel once she gets the results back. All I know is that the family will have to come together to give each other lots of support. In all honestly, I no longer know if this family is capable of doing that. It is sad, but it is also my honest opinion.

Part of me can't help but take the view of "Mom, if you would have had this lump checked into & removed 15 years ago like us kids were telling you too, maybe this cancer wouldn't have grown on your head. Your head or anywhere for that matter!" Part of me is terrified that it will be too late & the cancer will have already spread. Part of me is scared to see my mom go through this at all. Most of me is scared of lsoing my mom before I'm ready & to have all six of her living grandchildren grow up without their Grandma Tompkins.

As much as my mother drives me crazy & pushes my buttons, she is still my mom & I'm not ready to let her go. We don't have a diagnosis yet. If it si cancer, hopefully it will be treatable, localized & will go away with one surgery.

I will post about the Disney trip when I'm in a better frame of mind to do so.

Mother / Daughter Pedicure

Man I was SO bummed that the pampering at the spa didn't happen Sunday. We were on the way to the spa when we got a call on Bobs cell that I had been cancled. We had no signal when the call came through so we saw the voice mail as soon as we got the signal back. I called to see WHY I was cancled & was told that there was a busted pipe & there was currently 2 inches of water throughout the spa. They didn't know WHEN they would be reopening. Of course, I really LIKE that spa! Instead of a massage at the spa we found a little place that takes walk-ins. I got a pedicure & for an additonal $15 so did our oldest daughter Elizabeth. It worked out great because she had been wanting a "pretty day" & I hadn't had time to have one with her. Bob & Charlotte napped with the windows down in the truck while my oldest princess & I got pedicures. Liz was so well behaved that the lady painted Lizzy's fingernails at no extra charge! Elizabeth could hardley wait to show her Daddy her pretty nails & the flowers on her two big toes. I had fun just watching Elizabeth enjoy herself so much & be so well behaved. I'm just hoping that she doesn't deceide that she wants the Princesses to see her toes. LOL!

I am very impatiently waiting the the photos of Liz gettng her pedicure to download so I can bring this entry to a close.

I have sheets in the dryer & I have a load of dishes in the dishwasher as I type. I am ALWAYS awake when the washer or dryer is running. I am paranoid of a fire starting. When I was in grade school & home for lunch one day, my mom had clothes going in the laundry room. Mom & I smelled smoke about the same time & mom grabbed the fire extingusher & put out the fire caused by our washing machine. The fire department was there in a flash & made sure the fire was indeed out. Nothing was damaged. Only the washing machine ended up being toast. Since then, I cannot sleep or not be home with the washer or dryer running.

After two attempts to get pictures of the "pretty day" up, blogger still isn't letting them through. I guess there will be no "PD" photos at this time.

Sorry!

Disneyland Bound

We are headed for "The Magic Kingdom" the first week in February. We have already booked our lodging & are planning our trip. One day we are going to visit Bob's Grandma Marie. When were in California last time (Oct 2004) his Grandma was a remarkably young & sharp 92 years old. This time on the phone she didn't sound so sharp. She no longer drives & is having some significant health problems. Since she hasn't seen the new baby & she is the closet Grandparent (& the oldest in the worst health) we are going to drop in for a visit. Depending on how bad off she is, we are going to try to talk my MIL into driving out there to see her while she's visits us in March.

Crissy, we are not telling ANYONE about this trip to Disneyland. We just want to relax & enjoy our mini vacation without any remarks or critisims from the family. We are still thinking about an Illinois trip this fall, it all depends on finances & work.

Back to the subject of this post. We found a affordable hotel with continental breakfast just 150 yards from the main pedestrian entrance from Disneyland. Surprisingly, many hotels charge for parking, even of their guests! The hotel we found does not charge for parking. That will save us about $10 per day. Since we aren't big breakfast eaters, the breakfast saves us up to $30 each day! Since we are within walking distance of Disney, we won't have to move our car & lose or parking spot....plus we just burn that many more calories.

I am trying to plan ways for me to minimize that snacking & soda pop while in the park. There are many stands with fresh fruit & bottled water. Do I really feel like paying through the nose for that? You aren't supposed to bring your own food & drink into the park either. There are lockers just to the outside of the park entrance for rent. I will have bottled water to make Charlotte's bottles, which I can bring a couple extras & tell them it is to make the baby's bottles. Hopefully that will work. I think I will be drinking & filling a water bottle with drinking fountain water for myself. I will also probably bury a couple of Granola bars for each day in the diaper bag. Salad is available at many of the eateries in Disney. Like I said, I am really looking into this. As for February instead of just journaling my food, one of my goals was to really be conscious of my food choices had already decided this BEFORE DH suggested the trip.

Last night we all walked 3108 steps = 1.422 miles according to my pedometer in exactly 30 minutes. Elizabeth pushed a Barbie Doll in her doll stroller alongside her Daddy while I pushed Charlotte in the big stroller. I am going to drag DH & kids out for another walk tonight if he gets home early enough. The girls actually enjoy the walks, it is DH that doesn't like them so much. Walking was another goal I had decided to tackel beginning in February. The Disney trip just bumped it up by a couple of weeks. I will be wearing my pedometer in Disney & tracking my steps daily. I will also be tracking my food in my food journal & entering it at Fit Day shortly after we get home.

My DSH insisted that I book a reflexology session for my feet the Sunday before we leave. An hour long session is $85. For $15 more I could get a 30 minute reflexology session & a pedicure with a hand parafin dip! DH said if that was what I wanted I could have it. Sunday is the only day he can watch the kids while I go to the spa for some pampering. He'd better watch out because I could get used to that kind of pampering. Once again, that was HIS idea. I wasn't about to turn that down!

I will probably copy this post to my TOANL blog.

I will try to write at least once more before we leave for Disney.

Bella is gone

Saturday we took Bella to the Humane Society to find a new home. She was a sweet dog...when she wasn't doing one of the following:

1. Using the carpet as a toilet.
2. REFUSING to go potty OUTSIDE.
3. Jumping on my 3 year old.
4. Nipping or gnawing on someone OR something other than her chew toys.
5. Using the litterbox as her own personal treat dispenser.
6. Chasing the cats in our home.

She will make a great outdoor pet to the right family. Unfortunately, after 2 months of trying...it was time for her to go. I didn't notice how much time I was spending just cleaning up after her & putting things up out of her reach. She was attatched to me & nobody else in our family. I just didn't have the time to give her the attention she deserved and needed. I am positive that she will find a more suitable home now.

Today I spent about 3 hours shampooing our livingroom carpet. I moved furniture & shampooed while I had XM radio cranked to disco music via the satellite dish. I'm sure it was quite a site. Imagine a 5 ft 2.5 inch fatty sporting an oversized bleach spotted stain covered t-shirt in bright orange, faded blue sweat pants with white stripes down the sides with a hole in the rear & hair tied into a sloppy bun on her head. I'm sure I was a vision of lovliness when my DH walked in the door from work. LOL! He did say that the carpet looked nice though!

Sunday I finally took all of the ornaments off the tree & put them away. This is no small task as we have three 18 gallon totes full of ornaments that hang on the tree each year. That took the better part of 4 hours. While Bob & the girls slept I watched my Chicago Bears lose to the Carolina Panthers. It was a good game. I also journaled in my diary & gave myself a mini manicure. That is part of me turning over a new leaf...making time for myself whenever I can. I know it will make me a better wife & mother in the end.

Saturday night Bob & I played "Scene It" the TV edition after the girls went to bed. That was much needed us time. We stayed up until 2 am playing that game. We had fun though.

http://turningoveranewleafin2006.blogspot.com/

Just another day....

Here I am on the computer & I smell something. I find out it is dog poop as I hear my daughter saying "Damm! Bella, you went poop in here AGAIN?" I chuckle to myself as I pick up Bellas "gift" on the carpet. I shouldn't but I know that Liz got that word from myself or my DH.

This same little girl LOVES to feed her baby sister, pick out clothes for herself & her sister on nearly a daily basis & to take the wet laundry out of the wash & put it into the dryer. She is ALL girl with the exception of playing in the dirt. She has the most fun playing in the dirt. There are times that I think I am raising a female version of the Peanuts character "Pigpen". LOL! She rarely fails to make me both smile & annoyed in the same day. She definately keeps things interesting around here.

I am just trying to focus on something OTHER than my weight today. I'm not frustrated by my progress as it's only been a week. I am lacking energy today & I just want to go to sleep. I haven't eaten as much sugar as I have been the past few weeks. I think it is affecting my energy level. You know what? I have to get off of the sugar highs sometimes, so today is as good a day as any.

My DH just came home.

The Creation Story

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach and red and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds so that Man and Woman would long, healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. Satan said "You want chocolate with that?", and Man said "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said "Try fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed it's own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God created a light, fluffy white cake and named it "Angel Food Cake," and said "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and it's 99 cent double cheeseburger. Then said "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMO's.

Thought for the day.....
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.


BTW... the address of my second blog is

http://turningoveranewleafin2006.blogspot.com

http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=TOANLin2006

This is beautiful Sedona, AZ. MY DH took these with his digital camera on November 25th, 2005.

I'm wrapping up this entry. Our trackball is giving us fits & needs replacing. It takes the fun out of my blog when it has PMS.

I have another blog

It is called Turning Over A New Leaf.

I created TOANL to track & journal my journey to changing my life in several areas. The first & most urgent being the struggle to regain my health. With a BMI of 42.2....I'd say urgent is a pretty acurate description.

I will be keeping Purple Puddles as well. I enjoy sharing photos & details of my life as a SAHM on the road to self improvement. PP is my special place to vent, share, laugh & cry. It's my "cyber baby" & I cannot let it go.

As soon as I can figure out HOW to post the link to my new blog & few of my favorites in the sidebar, I shall do just that.

! Happy 2006 !

What did you do on New Year's Eve, or as my daughter says it "New Ears". LOL

We did what we needed to & were home by 3pm. We wanted to get home before all of the traffic & the party goers were out & about. The girls were asleep before 9pm, but DH & I were exhausted for some reason. We cuddled in our room & struggled to stay awake long enough to see Dick Clark this year. The clock struck Midnight, we saw the ball drop, gave each other a peck & a "Happy New Year", shut the TV off & promply fell asleep.

The next day we painted the walls of our oldest daughters room light purple. This weekend we are planning on finishing her room by painting the ceiling dark bluish-purple & adding glow in the dark stars...just like in our previous house. The exception being that instead of a white fan, that we left for the buyers, we got her a pink fan from Lowe's. She saw it & insisted that was the only one she wanted. Since it was under $100, her Daddy bought it for her.

Monday I got my first ever manicure, pedicure & a one hour deep tissue massage. I was in HEAVEN! SOme of my problem spots on my back are still bruised from the massage, but it didn't hurt while she was rubbing out the knots in my shoulders & lower back. It felt SO good. No, I'm not into pain. The manicure & pedicure was enjoyable as well. DH got me a gift certificate to a day spa for Christmas & scheduled the appointment for Monday when he KNEW he was off from work. When the ladies asked if it was a gift & told them yes. They asked where he got the idea for the services he chose & I told them I had NO idea. I didn't either! I had no idea that I needed that massage THAT much. I have a very sweet hubby!

Elizabeth's favorite gifts were the Whack-a-mole game we gave her & the dress up princess trunk that her Godparents gave her. Charlotte's favorites were the Classical Stacker we gave her & the Sleeping Muscial Pooh-Bear her Godparents gave her. My husbands favorites were the Homer Simpson Chia pet that Elizabeth HAD to have for him & the Stars Wars three DVD set Widescreen that I found for him...on Christmas Eve. The toaster was actually a close second. He opened it & used it the next morning. I think we all know what MY favorite gift was.

Our baby, Charlotte has started rolling around to get where she wants to. When she tries to get her legs under herself to rock she falls & cries in frustration. Today she was having blast in her exersaucer. When Lizzy was a baby she ALWAYS had a constant favorite, her swing. Charlottes favorites seem to change from day to day. Some days the exersaucer is what she wants, others it's the Johnny Jump Up, still others she wants her swing & some days she just wants to roll around on the floor. She ALWAYS wants to be included in whatever we are doing.

Tonight I read the girls two books by Shel Silverstine. (SP?) The girls were glued to these books. If you have read them, then you are aware they are just black & white pictures. I read them The Missing Piece & The Giving Tree. Elizabeth was even showing me how the circle was rolling along by doing summersaults next to me a couple of times. When it came to reading them poems from "A Light in The Attic" (the book chosen by Elizabeth) she was no longer interested & instead asked if she could read a book to me. She went & got Cinderella & "read" it to me via pictures. I will never, ever discourage reading in my home. Especially at the ages my girls are right now.

Elizabeth & I also had a "pretty" day while her sister was asleep in her crib. We put on make-up, painted our fingers & her toes as well as dressed her up in her Princess outfits she got from her Godparents. She had the best time with me today & she made a point of showing her Daddy her pretty fingers & toes when he got home. She is SUCH a girl! LOL! Daddy will have his hands full when she gets interested in clothes, boys & make-up. Look out!

On January 2nd I gave up regular soda. I am still drinking caffinated soda but switched to diet. When the diet soda is gone, I will be eliminating the caffiene as well. I have a raging headache but I think that is from the diet soda & lack of sugar intake. Tommorrow I will begin pushing the water down my throat. I could be dehydrated, causing my headache as well.

I'm off to drink some water, take some asprin, take a shower & go to bed.

Take care!

This is December 2005. Baby Charlotte is sitting in a rocking chair I have for one of my porceilan dolls my Grandmother made me in high school. The other two are my girls under our tree (obviously). My family LOVED the picture (the last one) as I made wallets & included it in my snail mail Christmas cards this year. I usually send a pic of Liz (Char's first Christmas this year) with Santa. Since we had been sick & had yet to visit Santa I included this one instead.

The kids Godparents visited on Christmas Eve morning & stayed for about 1 1/2 hours. It was the first time the Godmother had seen Charlotte. After they left Bob & the girls took a nap & I cleaned carpet. My parents showed up about 3pm & much to my surprise were very well behaved. There were no snide remarks about my house not being perfect, no gossiping about others either in out out of our family & no telling me how I do things wrong, blah, blah, blah. They always love DH's cooking though. They even complimented our tree this year! WOnders never cease do they!

As for Christmas Day, DH & I woke up to the oldest next to our bed crying. She came into our our room & says "Mommy, Daddy I feel sick!" Then proceeds to vomit all over herself, us & our bed. Keep in mind she is still 1/2 asleep herself. We start to open gifts once she begins feeling better & she vomits again while opening them. We finished once she felt better. After that I changed the bedding & her & Daddy laid down & watched tv, falling asleep. We arrived at my folks & my brothers about 3pm. Opened gifts, had dinner & were on our way home by 7:30pm. Mom bought a pre-cooked ham this year & it was the first time in years that I had seconds at dinner. Maybe she actuaaly considered my suggestion & just did it a cheaper way. Once again, all in my mom's house were very well behaved. It was a big surprise to expereince that.

I got my Christmas wish of a holiday with NO DRAMA! WOO HOO!

Is Christmas over yet?

GEEZ! It seems like I hove SO much to get done & not a prayer of finishing it all. My parents are comming over to our place on Christmas Eve for dinner. I was also informed tonight when DH got home that the morning of Christmas Eve the kids Godparents are stopping by. I need to NOT be sitting on the computer tyoing but this will help me keep my sanitiy.

The laundry has piled up because dryer was broken & the Maytag man only comes out to the middle of nowhere once per week. The thought of dealing with 15 loads of piled up laundry & two little kids at the laundrymat was just TOO much.

I can say that at least my Christmas shopping is finished. The wrapping of gifts isn't, but I can do that in my spare time. Right, like I even know what spare time IS anymore.

I am stressing out because althought I love my parents dearly, she is anal about housework. SHe thinks that because she was a SAHM of 4 & her house looked near perfect, that mine should as well. I stress out everytime she is comming for a visit. I still have boxes in my livingroom & kitchen from our move in mid October. She also enjoys talking about people I don't know & trying to create drama between family members. She bad mouths my DH on the phone & everyone else she can think of. For awhile she stopped doing that, but she is back to her old self.

We are going to their house for Christmas Day. Going so we can watch my Dad play on the computer & be anti social, listen to my parents & brother argue & eat overcooked, bland food. I would like to skip it but we don't live far enough away to do that. I even asked my mom what she usually spends on dinner & she replied about $75. I mentioned that she could save herself a ton of work & just pay Boston Market to make dinner, pick it up & heat it in the oven. She was absoultly completely opposed to that idea. She got down right bitchy with me for even suggesting it. I didn't even hint that I think her food sucks. Saying it sucks is putting it VERY mildly. I also offered to bring a couple of dishes to eliminate some of the work. Somehow THAT was offensive as well. I give up trying to help or please that woman. You cannot help someone that doesn't want it. I just don't want Christmas to be a replay of Easter. If it is, my DH will never return to my folks for another holiday again.

I am in the process of creating a soundtrack of my life. I saw someone do it on the My 43 things website & since I love music, I am doing it as well.
I will probably break it up into sections, but it will be interesrting to look back & see what I've choosen for my soundtrack. Will I list it? Maybe, but I have to complete it first.

My "break" has lasted long enough.

Here's to hoping Christmas goes without any drama this year.

What have you done?

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
( X ) been in love
( X ) been dumped
( X ) shoplifted
( X) been fired
( X) been in a fist fight
(X ) snuck out of your parents' house
( X ) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
(X ) gone on a blind date
( X ) lied to a friend
(X ) skipped school
(X ) seen someone die
( X ) been to Canada
(X) been to Mexico
( X) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
( ) eaten sushi
( X) been skiing
( X ) met someone from the Internet
( X ) been at a concert
(X) taken painkillers
( X ) love someone or miss someone right now
(X ) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( X ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
( X ) flown a kite
( X ) built a sand castle
( X ) gone puddle jumping
( X ) played dress up
( X ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( X ) gone sledding
( X ) cheated while playing a game
( X ) been lonely
( X ) fallen asleep at work/school
(X ) used a fake ID
( X ) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
( X ) slept beneath the stars
( X ) been tickled
( X ) been robbed
( X ) been misunderstood
( ) petted a reindeer/goat/kangaroo/deer
( X ) won a contest
( X ) run a red light/stop sign
( ) been suspended from school
( ) had braces
( X ) felt like an outcast/third person
( X) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( X ) had déjà vu
( X ) danced in the moonlight
( X) liked the way you looked
( X ) witnessed a crime
( X) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( X ) squished mud through your bare feet
( X ) been lost
( X) been on the opposite side of the country
( X) swam in the ocean
( X ) felt like dying
( X ) cried yourself to sleep
(X ) played cops and robbers
( X ) recently colored with crayons
( X) sang karaoke
( X ) paid for a meal with only coins
( X ) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( X) made prank phone calls
( X ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( X ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( X ) danced in the rain
( X ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( X ) been kissed under the mistletoe
( X) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
( X ) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
(X ) crashed a party
( X ) gone roller-skating
( X ) had a wish come true
( X) jumped off a bridge

Holy crap! I didn't think I would have checked THAT many items! It made me laugh & remember things I haven't thought of in a very long time.

Thanks Carolyn F.!

Pity Party. Needed to vent.

It's been awhile since I posted anything here. I haven't been neglectiong the blog. I have been sick. I still am sick. In fact, I have a raging fever as I type! Unfortunatly for me, my two gilrs are sick as well. We all know what that means...Momma doesn't get any sleep. The week of Thanksgiving my infant daughter got a cold. Since my MIL was visiting from Illinois, just staying home with the baby wasn't really an option. Well. her cold turned into a nasty ear infection. We take her to the Dr & just as she gets better then the 3 year old gets sick. No Dr required, just had a nasty cold. The 3 year old WAS feeling better but got the baby & I sick again. In the meantime the 3 year old has gotten sick again herself! Last night I was up SIX times between the baby, the 3 year old & myself. Tonight has been no better. I LOVE my DH but he actually YELLED at me because I cried while trying to open a childproof cap so I could take some medecine. Yes I KNOW he's worried about getting sick himself but guess what...I am sick & I am still caring for the girls, cleaning, cooking & trying to get better. He needs to get the F@*! OVER IT! He said he is tired of hearing ONE of cry all of the time. GUESS WHAT! I HAVEN'T BEEN CRYING...our two small children have. I'M TIRED OF IT TOO! I deal with it TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN! EXCUSE ME if I had a WEAK MOMENT & shed a few tears MYSELF! Gee, can you tell I am not myself today? Tonight he can eat leftovers, care for the girls after he gets to eat & watch two hours of TV & I am going to bed. VERY EARLY I AM GOING TO BED. Speaking of bed, my fever has broken so I'm going to try & catch what amounts to yet another cat nap.

More pictures from 2005

Bob & Liz March 23rd 2005 at the Zoo. My sister thought it was a backdrop at first!




November 23rd 2005. A display at the Santa's Village amusement park near the freeway.
Liz & her "Grandpa" Ron. Ron is my MIL's "boyfriend" of many years. Liz just started calling him that on the last visit.
August 2005. This was the photo I submitted to Human Clock for 3:54 PM.

Summer 2005 in Lizzys "old" room at the old house. The teddy bear was made by my mother for my Grandfather in the late 1980's. My Grandparents said they had to buy a ticket for the Teddy bear to get it on the plane back to Illinois with them!