Big news

Wow! My big news is that I'm pregnant with child number two. I had been feeling all around crappy. You know, exhausted, nothing was sitting well in my stomach, lots of headaches & I SWORE my breasts were getting larger. At first I thought I was just gaing weight again, then the peeing in the middle of night came along with my bras getting tighter. I finally said "F-it! I'm taking te EPT in the med cabinet" As soon as the urine hit where the second line was to appear, it did. It was a very dark pair of lines so there was no doubt in my mind I was pregnant. I PERSONALLY don't have a prefrence, but for my husband's sake, I hope this one is a boy. He is the only child of his deceased biological father, so his dad's direct bloodline will end with him unless he has the boy he's wanted for so long. According to the due date calculator at IVillage.com, the baby is due on July 27th, 2005. I have an appointment on December 6th, so we shall see how close it is to the one the Dr. gives me. I will resume my yoga exercises this week . This pregnancy was a little something extra to be thankful for this year, as we found out on Thanksgiving Eve. My father in law's birthday was Nov 27th. He would have been 63 years old. He passed on July 4th, 2001. Just 2 weeks before we knew we were expecting our first child. It would have been his first Grandchild. We will likely be the only ones that would have ever givin him grandchildren becuase his oldest daughter died years ago, his son nobody seems to know anything about, his daughter is now in her late 20's has never had a boyfriend is a virgin & has no interest in pursuing a relationship...or so it seems. These were all half-siblings for my DH. DH's step dad raised & treated him as if DH were his own son. DH's biological father died when he was only 8 years old. I think that is why he takes care of my parents the same way that I do. He knows just how important our parents are in our lives. I've always known. He is just the first man I've known in a long time that also knows this & treats parents in the way the should be treated. I think he values the closeness of his relationship with my parents as much as I do. He really has been a blessing (most of the time...LOL) in my life. I'm honored to have him as my husband & the father of our soon to be two children.

Take time to listen to your familes stories, pick up the phone & talk to your family & to say I LOVE YOU to you family every chance you get. You never know when the time you say it, will be your last oppertunity to do so. I call my grandparents nearly every weekend & my Grandparents love to hear from me. Even if it seems that I have nothing signifcant to say. Of my three sibilings, I am the only one that calls &/or writes on a regular basis. I know it means so much to them, & to me as well.


Mary

We all have an Inner Bitch

Today on Starting Over, Iyanla said that we all have an inner bitch. She stands up for us when we cannot stand up for ourselves. Sometimes, we just need to whack her. My inner bitch will call people on their lies when it's warranted, help me be tough when inside I'm crumbeling & let me walk away when I've had enough & I when believe someone I love to be a toxin in my life. She fought back against the boy in high school that tried to date rape me. She kept me thinking with a cool head when someone tried to snatch me & put me in their van in 1986. She stood up to the protesters when they surrounded me & tried to prevent me from getting an abortion. She stood up my sisters ex-fiancee when he threatened to call the police for theft when she deceided to move out. She told him that my sister purchased everything in their apartment & that if need be, my sister could prove each purchase with cancelled checks that list each purchase in the memo section. She stood up to the manager that was sexually harrasing me at Mc Donalds. She called my dad on his 2nd affair when he lied to my face about it. She stood up to my ex-husband when he was toying with my feelings & stringing me on. She froze the business bank account when my ex kept bouncing checks, causing him to suddenly "fix" his spending habits. She made him file for divorce by telling him he had two choices...to either file for divorce himself & I'd take what I brought into the relationship & the wedding gifts from my family, or I'd file for divorce, he'd pay for my lawyer, & I'd sell the business, tools & contracts off piece by piece because he wasn't able to make the decesion about getting counseling &/or getting a divorce. She pushed me to find affordable counseling for myself during this process, therefore giving me the tools to be strong enough to stand up to him & deal with all the fallout of those years. She allowed me to heal enough to deal with the pain of some decesions I've made in my past. She gave me the confidence to give birth to my daughter without any pain medication. I guess I owe my inner bitch a lot. When I didn't listen to her is when I made bad decesions & allowed men unworthy of my love into my life. So, thank you to my nameless inner bitch. She has saved my life.